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A blog post…from me?

Been a LONG time, but here it is – a new post πŸ™‚

After dinner we were sitting at the table just chatting about the day and Lisa mentioned the amount of overtime I’m doing at the moment.

“I know” said Kira, and looked at me, “YOU’RE the reason I wake up in the morning!”

Of course, I took it the right way and said “That’s the sweetest thing anyone’s said to me.”

Do you know just how much a 16 year old can glare?

πŸ™‚

2 hamsters, 1 wheel

It’s like 2 girls, 1 cup only it has no girls, no cup, but DOES have hamsters πŸ™‚

A quickie for Friday…

Been a great week – everything at work is ticking along nicely, and I had a day in Paris on Wednesday at the air show. Was a long day though…up at 2.30am to drive to Luton, arrived in Paris at 8 – FINALLY got to the air show at 12, got my ticket from the company we were there to have a meeting with at 1, which coincided with my needing some lunch (I did get a full english breakfast at Luton airport waiting for the boss and my flight, but 5 hours is a long time for me to go foodless).

The meeting went very well – may be a trip to Singapore for me in September (16 hour flight – lovely) – but the flight back was delayed an hour (I hate EasyJet – every time I’ve flown with them, there’s been a delay), meaning I didn’t get back to Lisa’s until after midnight, making it a 22 hour day for me, made worse by the fact that everyone else was drinking champagne after the meeting while I was on the black coffee 😐

Was so tired at work yesterday though I ended up going home for a 3 hour catch-up nap…

But it’s now only 30 minutes to the weekend πŸ™‚

A lazy Wednesday post…

Management Speak
Truly the last resort for any wanker with very little to say, and an enormous fat gob with which to say it.

I have actually heard the following phrases in meetings:

“My_cat, you have failed to escalate this issue”

This after I tried to sort a problem out without running to the manager.

“My_cat, I am unhappy that you have PARKED this issue with me”

This after I had run to the manager after the previous warning (see above). By the way, am I working in an office or an NCP?

“I’m just Blue Sky thinking here – but I’d like to put forward a suggestion that pushes the envelope”

HANG THE FUCK ON – Isn’t Blue Skying a polite way of saying Bull Shitting? Isn’t it all just BS? Oh, and by the way we LICK the envelope round here – pushing it is just basically moving it from one part of the desk to another. (Issue parking wankers)

“Can I get an idea on when we’re expecting sign off?”

Right, this last one looks ok. It’s grammatically wank, it means FUCK ALL.
“Can I get..” = Can I have
“an idea on” = the date of
“when we’re expecting” Totally superfluous
“sign off” = Authorisation.

But hey, why use 7 words when 11 will make you look like a:
“client focused, task driven individual with a real eye on the forward game” = cunt

Apologies for length = We as a company take our responsibilities very seriously, and if we’ve failed to deliver an expected outcome, we would like to offer you our sincerest regret, however, we feel we should point out that length can often be a subjective term and as such, we apologise without prejudice.

Yes, another cut ‘n’ paste from the annals of B3ta.com – sue me πŸ˜›


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