Last night I had one of those frightening dreams – the ones that make your heart thud when you wake up dripping in sweat. Let me explain:

So, I’m fast asleep, having nice fluffy dreams (as you do), when suddenly things change – I’m in a church (which happens to be next door to my parents house strangely – no church there, just houses), all done up in a suit…waiting to get married 😯

Now, my subconscious must have started rebelling at this point – I happened to notice that the balcony supports were very insecure (just like me and the thought of commitment eh?), so the church fella made us all leave.

At this point everyone (no bride to be at this point) went back next door to my parents. I made some excuse and slipped upstairs where I stealthily got out of my suit and back into my jeans and t shirt before realising my trainers (sports shoes – not nappy type things) were downstairs…hmm. At this point my dad called up to see if I was done – I replied that I’d be a couple of minutes, thus giving me time to hunt for footwear.

Then my dad called again to say that Joan (my intended? I don’t even KNOW anyone called Joan except for an aunt) was here and was I done? I replied that I’d be a couple of minutes to which my dad said “We’re coming up…”

And so I did the only thing I could do…climbed out of the window, barefoot, dropped to the floor, and ran like fuck…

You know when you’re sleeping and you dream you’re falling and jerk awake just before you hit the ground? well, some say that if you didn’t wake, you’d die. I dunno how true that is, but I reckon it would have been a VERY BAD THING if I’d clocked ‘Joan’ in my dream…

Snigger at me all you want – all I know is I lay awake for about an hour waiting for my heart to stop racing so I could get back to sleep.

Anyone wanna analyse that lot?

And now, back to work on the company website…meh