That I hate this time of year?
No? well, I do – with a vengeance.
You know why? I can explain in one word: sheep.
Fucking sheep. They’re everywhere – walk down the High Street and they mill around with their stupid, fucking bovine faces and bags full of wrapping paper. Supermarkets are over-run with the dumb fuckers too – try popping in just for a loaf of bread.
And so my newest supermarket game was born on Saturday…
Now, the first (and best) game involved putting random items in unsupervised trollies – with higher marks for totally uneccessary items (shampoo for baldies, condoms for pensioners etc.). The new game isn’t really a game as such, but I get so irate when I go into supermarkets that I have to do something or I’ll committ mass murder.
So, when you come up behind some sheep blocking the aisle, just “BAAAAA!!!” in their ear while maintaining a normal face – they look round thinking “Did I REALLY hear someone baa at me?”, but they do get the fuck outta my way.
I hate shopping. I hate c*nting xmas. I hate sheep.
Altogether, I’m not in the best mood. Fuck off.