An email I got today:

FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION FBI.WASHINGTON DC.
WASHINGTON D.C ROOM,7367
J. EDGAR HOOVER FBI BUILDING
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE,
NW WASHINGTON, DC 20535,

RE: FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION SEEKING TO WIRETAP THE INTERNET

We believe this notification meets you in a very good present state of mind and health. We the Federal bureau of investigation (FBI) Washington, DC in conjunction with some other relevant Investigation Agencies here in the United states of America have recently been informed through our Global intelligence monitoring network that you presently have a transaction going on with the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) as regards to your over-due contract payment which was fully endorsed in your favour accordingly.

It might interest you to know that we have taken out time in screening through this project as stipulated on our protocol of operation and have finally confirmed that your contract payment is 100% genuine and hitch free from all facet and of which you have the lawful right to claim your fund without any further delay. Having said all this, we will further advise that you go ahead in dealing with the Central Bank office Nigeria accordingly as we will be monitoring all their activities with you as well as your correspondence at all level.

In addendum, also be informed that we recently had a meeting with the Executive Governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria, in the person of Mr Sanusi Aminu Lamido along with some of the top officials of the Ministry regarding your case and they made us to understand that your file has been held in abase depending on when you personally come for the claim. They also told us that the only problem they are facing right now is that some unscrupulous element are using this project as an avenue to scam innocent people off their hard earned money by impersonating the Executive Governor and the Central Bank office.

We were also made to understand that a lady with name Mrs. Joan C. Bailey from OHIO has already contacted them and also presented to them all the necessary documentations evidencing your claim purported to have been signed personally by you prior to the release of your contract fund valued at about US$10,000,000 (Ten million United States Dollars), but the Central Bank office did the wise thing by insisting on hearing from you personally before they go ahead on wiring your fund to the Bank informations which was forwarded to them by the above named Lady, so that was the main reason why they contacted us so as to assist them in making the investigations.

They further informed us that we should warn our dear citizens who must have been informed of the contract payment which was awarded to them from the Central Bank of Nigeria, to be very careful prior to these irregularities so that they don’t fall victim to this ugly circumstance anymore. And should incase you are already dealing with anybody or office claiming to be from the Central Bank of Nigeria, you are advised to STOP further contact with them in your best interest and then contact immediately the real office of the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) only with the below informations accordingly:

NAME: Mr. Sanusi Lamido Aminu Sanusi
OFFICE ADDRESS:Central Bank of Nigeria,
Tinubu Square Tinubu
Lagos – Nigeria.
TEL: +234 812-075-2261
Email:cbn_sanusilamido432@accountant.com

NOTE: In your best interest, any message that doesn’t come from the above official email address and phone numbers should not be replied to and should be disregarded accordingly for security reasons. Meanwhile, we will advise that you contact the Central Bank office immediately with the above email address and request that they attend to your payment file as directed so as to enable you receive your contract fund accordingly.

Ensure you follow all their procedure as may be required by them as that will further help hasten up the whole procedures as regards to the transfer of your fund to you as designated. Also have in mind that the Central Bank of Nigeria equally have their own protocol of operation as stipulated on their banking terms. Once again, we will advise that you contact them with the above email address and make sure you forward to them all the necessary information which they may require from you prior to the release of your fund to you accordingly.

All modalities has already been worked out even before you were contacted and note that we will be monitoring all your dealings with them as you proceed so you don’t have anything to worry about. All we require from you henceforth is an update so as to enable us be on track with you and the Central Bank of Nigeria. Without wasting much time, will want you to contact them immediately with the above email address so as to enable them attend to your case accordingly without any further delay as time is already running out.

Should in case you need any more information in regards to this notification, feel free to get back to us so that we can brief you more as we are here to guide you during and after this project has been completely perfected and you have received your contract fund as stated.

Thank you very much for your anticipated co-operation in advance as we earnestly await your urgent response to this matter.

Best Regards,

ROBERT SWAN MUELLER III
WASHINGTON D.C ROOM,7367
J. EDGAR HOOVER FBI BUILDING
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE,
NW WASHINGTON, DC 20535,

Email: fbioffice314@gmail.com

Sigh…the actual header told me this came from: “FBI OFFICE” <burkert@sohu.net>, but I kinda like the fact the feebs use gmail 🙂
Anyhoo, this has put me in a pretty good mood – especially after a chat with the boss earlier…

Basically, this whole eASE thing is stalling – Wang in Singapore seems loath to put any more time into it (he’s already been paid and has spent the cash – no surprise there really, I’d feel the same), so the boss was chatting with a guy on the south coast who seems to know his onions. Basically, if Wang provides server access to the existing database code, this guy reckons he can incorporate my design and get everything up and running in about 6 weeks for about £10k. I expressed to the boss that the stalling point would be if Wang didn’t want to hand over his source code.

So, next week, boss and me are having a 2 day jolly meeting with the web guy (no, not spiderman) down in Bournemouth, and Wang has said (and I quote) “If Paul says he’s ok, we can go ahead.” – that’s how well I impressed him during my hectic schedule of meetings when I was in Singapore 😀 (makes a note to call the carpenters to widen the doors so I can get my big head out). So, assuming everything goes well next week, I’ll be back out in Singapore with the web guy (no, not spiderman) to introduce him and help him get acquainted with the existing site setup…

Heh – check this out – was gonna embed it, but I’m too busy, and WordPress is funny about things like that…