As I start this, I have no title – I’m waiting for inspiration…and this is mostly to do with some things I read on B3ta and my personal experience.

So, I don’t have a TV. Can’t see it as a problem personally – it’s a novelty when I get out of the house (*innocent whistling*).

Every now and then (READ: practically every week), I get a nice (READ: getting shittier and shittier every time) letter from the TV Licensing knobs people – I look, smile, and throw them in the bin – I have no TV, take your posturing elsewhere I say to them.

And so the recycling bin fills with nasty letters from some private company that has finally stopped ‘scaring’ us with rumours of a TV Detector van (I understand that with CRT tubes and other materials, this MAY have been possible – but the cost would deem it very unlikely) that could detect us receiving a television signal (READ: bloke in a van with an aerial on top reading from a list of addresses that don’t have a current licence).

Anyhoo, last Thursday I was expecting a friend round to pick up her laptop I’d sorted out, so when there was a knock on the door, I opened it saying “It was unlocked – you should hav…” to come face to face with the beige coated numpty (thanks B3ta) standing there…

“Hullo, I’m from TV Licensing…BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, you don’t seem to have a licence for this address?”

Oh noes – I is caught! you cry – but no! I lead the gimp into my lounge to parade my impressive array of computer technology (artistic licence taken here – couple of PCs and maybe a laptop or three…). He took one look at the screens, looked at me and burbled:

“Can you get live TV on the internet on those?”

“Oh no sir,” replied I, “the speed I have is barely enough to get email…” (noticing that the BitTorrent icon has thankfully disappeared from the notification tray thus withholding the truth that I’m downloading 10gb of pr0n and numerous films…)

“Ok.” said her, asked my name (why it’s Mr Fisher) and filled out his (rather cool looking) PDA

And so, off he fucked – not sure whether the big joint I had in my mouth at the time was anything to do with it though.

Um…that’s all I can ramble on about now…