How to impress people – especially your boss (aka: how NOT to be a numpty*)
So yesterday was my nemesis (you know – Monday).
Now for some reason, over Easter we get a lot of bank holidays in the UK.
And that, your honour, is my defence for not coming into work yesterday – I thought it was a bank holiday.
No really – I did. I got up early and everything, pootled about the house and garden doing stuff – I even got some of my DVDs sorted.
Well, the boss laughed (at me!) today when he got in…
* Word ‘numpty’ courtesy of Lisa, aged 9¾
I’m 39¾ actually!!
My maiden name is ‘Munday’ so does that make me your evil nemesis??
Are you seriously allowed out in public without a responsible adult to look after you?? I don’t think that “over Easter we get a lot of bank holidays…” is the ironclad defence you think it is!!
Ah!! I do that so you can keep up, sweetie!
Talk to you with the mental age of a child. I find that you relate to it so much better! See how much effort I make for you!
If YOU don’t know where you put it, how do you expect ME to know??? Durr!
I’m a woman … I am working at the same time. It’s called Multi-tasking!! Something men believe is just a myth!
Let it go man … I bought you another one!
No.
Indeed.
Good.
Definitely.
No.
No, not all the time …
I was agreeing with you – how freaked are you now??!! Mwahahaha
Then my work here is done…
Shall I stop now then?
I finished it.
Errrr, you think????
No … I’m not as bad as you!!
Don’t think that’s possible!
She’s good. I think I like Lisa.
haha, I have a girl crush. I was like 77 responses to a post WTF is snee up to?
Now I know.
OK, who are you and what have you done with the real Paul?? I’m not saying we want him back … just want to check he’s safely locked away somewhere!!
Errrrr – You HAVE a good character? Wow, who knew!!
Oh, and Bu’er … thanks!
Oh, I’ve moved onto the hard stuff … just had a cuppa! Lovely!
Oh, I wish!!!! Wouldn’t need fatclub then!
Oh no .. I don’t beep anymore. I upgraded to that voice that says “warning, this vehicle is reversing…”
Not sure why you think I’d be reversing up to you while you’re having a pint!
Give it up man!!! Get over it!!! Deal with it and move on!!!
OK … my fault, I’m sorry. I’ll never join you for a beer again. Would hate to see you in constant fear that your beer wasn’t safe!!
I reached for your phone (admittedly to put a fingerprint on the screen!) and I knocked your beer … I didn’t go out on some beer-hating rampage. MOVE ON!!!
Are you playing chess???
Chucked it in the bin so I didn’t eat it … shall I get it out again??
Yes. I. Did.
If words fail you at least this thread won’t get any longer!
Well, they’re not ALL my comments!!
Really? So many people want to know why you’re a numpty eh?
You really will take a 69 wherever you can get it won’t you!!!!!
I meant 99!! I was talking about you getting an ice-cream at work. That first ‘9’ must have fallen over… ahem, ahem. (Damn – was hoping for an innocent looking emote!!!)
Now now Paul. That’s not very nice. Totally true, but not nice.
Thanks Sillywhabbit! You know when he’s run out of responses because he’ll use “Pffft” !!! We usually have these sorts of conversations by text, but this one seemed like too good an opportunity to miss!
Oh, you think?? … silly question, you’re a bloke – OF COURSE YOU DON’T!!!!!
…and before you think you’ve won, I’m off out to enjoy the sunshine for the day – this isn’t over! Look on the bright side though … you’ve got a few hours to come up with some witty comebacks!!
(<- am loving that Emote!)
By the way … I know I sent you a text to say it’s Good Friday so you don’t need to go into work today, but I thought I’d better let you know that, apparently, Easter Monday has been cancelled for all those numpties that have taken their ‘bank holiday’ already.
I think they mean YOU, Snee!!
Lisa, you’ve capitalized the “s” in snee. I feel that I need to warn you or he’ll forever bring it up in further posts and conversations….
sometimes, I capitalize the “s” AND bold it, just to piss him off.
Bravo! Quite entertaining- you guys should write a book!! “The last word…” It would be never ending…you could have sequels upon sequels..you’d be rich!!!
Bu’Er – the book “The Last Word” hmmm? Could “The Tower of Dishes” be included in that one? Charlie and I are playing a game… whomever knocks the first dish to the other side of the sink has to wash them all….
…but Paul would never turn up to do the work. He’d probably come up with some really lame and totally unbelievable excuse. Something along the lines of getting bank holidays mixed up!!
Glad you’re enjoying the show though … got to admit that it’s amusing me too! (Although that could be because I’ve got a sick, evil & twisted mind! Oh, I love being me!)
Yeah, not in this lifetime!
Yes, yes you did. I lost count (and interest) after the first 27 times (well, after the first time actually
).
That’s ok coz I won’t be listening…at all
Sorry … did you say something??
I’ve got it here…covered in lots and lots of lovely cheese!!! Mmmm Mmmm Mmmmmmm!!
Isn’t it time you updated your blog?
Oh…my chicken kebab was lurrrrvely!
Hmmmm. That’s not QUITE what I meant!!
Yawn!!!!! You’re getting dull, snee!
It’s easy because it’s true!! Yes, my heart has been broken – on more than one occasion – and my soul has been stolen…but fortunately I got that back and am now in negotiations with the devil on the sale of said item!
Oh yes – I remember you mentioning it before.
You’ve told me to “give it up” a couple of times now … you getting worried that I won’t??
It’s your fault really … if you hadn’t made a point about having the last word I wouldn’t have got my stubborn, bloody-minded head on and you’d be enjoying a weekend without this never-ending thread!
Getting bored now …
You may have the last word after all … no point in just arguing the same things over & over.
Seriously?? You guys can’t give up now…c’mom, get going with it!!
Dream on.
When I use that emote it puts the word ‘twisted’ in the text … can you change that to ‘lisa’???
Awwww shucks, that’s one of the nicest things you’ve ever said to me!!!
Yes … this one!
snee:
is innocent
20/04/2011 at 21:20
Well, compared to you, this one
THAT one is probably the nicest thing you’ve said!
…and it’s comments like that which confirm that you have a freakishly disturbed mental state!!
If we’re voting on which one, I’d definitely go with you having a ‘freakishly mental state’…
Oh, well argued!! My compliments, snee! You’re such a wordsmith!!
Oh, there are many things about you that are wrong … but that is just SOOOO wrong!!
I disagree…
No, it’s not a bank holiday but well done for checking first!
Taking the cats to the vet this morning (mwahahaha
) and have decided to go into work after that … such dedication! 
No, I’m Lisa … how many times do we have to go over this??!!
Did it before when we were discussing my hippo arse … keep up, Paul!!!
Absolutely not – it’s perfect for you … a planet that has nice padded surroundings and when you’re there you get to wear one of those brilliant jackets that make you hug yourself!!
…and yet you still come back for more!
Well, do yours first then …
A donkey & ass are the same thing. It’s a Mule or a Hinny that’s the hybrid!!
With regard to you not having any features the same as a donkey … OK, thanks for being honest about it!
(But you do have a hairy face … it just varies in length!)
Oh yes, you have a hairy back & legs … just like a donkey!!
This thread is going to end eventually …
Definitely…
…or when you get on and update your blog properly, not just some lazy-ass (yes, I did mean ass) copy & paste from something else!!
Alternatively, if you want me to stop posting then you can just ask me to stop … always happy to do something for a friend if I can!
Errrr, then why did you walk back with me??? You should have said you wanted another beer!
Ah, an old ploy eh?
Right snee … I think we’ve taken this thread as far as it will go. I’m moving over to ‘Pandas’ or ‘Bored’. You’re not having the last word, I’m just moving my replies!!
Too kind.
No
well he IS a perv. just sayin.
I feel like I’m sitting at the table behind you guys at a restaurant and totally eavesdropping.
You know what … I did think that I seem to have taken over all the conversation on here. Nobody else seems to be joining in anymore so I’m going to take a back seat and let you lot take over!! I can insult Paul anytime!! I shall enjoy reading again!!
Indeed, but your spelling is shit!