Fecking wheelie bins
See that handle about halfway up on the side? wanna know something? well, it’s EXACTLY the right height to smash my car’s rear lens when it rolls away due to the ABSOLUTE FUCKING WANKER who didn’t put the wheel brakes on.
Note: the fact that the brake lens now shows white light means I stand to get a ticket if stopped.
Of course, the fucktard who’s fault this is fucked off pretty sharpish before I noticed. Had he came to me, apologised and promised to get it sorted, I’d be a much happier snee, but now he’ll have to pay me £52.88 for a replacement (or have the shit kicked out of him, THEN pay me £52.88).
So, here we are at Thursday. I’m extremely pissed off and want to go back to bed…
*holds off doing wheelie bin joke*
What – this one?
A dustman is going along a street picking up the wheelie bins and emptying them into his dustcart lorry. He gets to one house where the bin hasn’t been left out so he has a quick look for it, goes round the back but still can’t see it so he knocks on the door. There’s no answer so he knocks again.
Eventually a Japanese bloke answers…”Harro”, says the chappy.
“Alright mate, where’s ya bin?” asks the dustman.
“I bin on toilet” replies the Japanese bloke, looking perplexed.
Realising the Japanese fellow has misunderstood, the binman smiles and says “No mate, where’s ya dust bin?”
“I dust bin on toilet I told you” says the Japanese man.
“Mate” says the dustman… “you’re misunderstanding me….Where’s your wheelie bin?”
“OK, OK”, says the Japanese bloke, “I wheelie bin having a wank!”
Same lines – council worker/rough looking occupant/bin on holidays/wheelie bin in jail. Just telling everyone he’s bin on holidays.