Did I ever mention…
That I hate this time of year?
No? well, I do – with a vengeance.
You know why? I can explain in one word: sheep.
Fucking sheep. They’re everywhere – walk down the High Street and they mill around with their stupid, fucking bovine faces and bags full of wrapping paper. Supermarkets are over-run with the dumb fuckers too – try popping in just for a loaf of bread.
And so my newest supermarket game was born on Saturday…
Now, the first (and best) game involved putting random items in unsupervised trollies – with higher marks for totally uneccessary items (shampoo for baldies, condoms for pensioners etc.). The new game isn’t really a game as such, but I get so irate when I go into supermarkets that I have to do something or I’ll committ mass murder.
So, when you come up behind some sheep blocking the aisle, just “BAAAAA!!!” in their ear while maintaining a normal face – they look round thinking “Did I REALLY hear someone baa at me?”, but they do get the fuck outta my way.
I hate shopping. I hate c*nting xmas. I hate sheep.
Altogether, I’m not in the best mood. Fuck off.
You wanna try living in Wales. We have them all year round! Mind you, that’s because we’re kinky.
I’m with ya, agreed with everything you said…I have never called someone sheep though! I hope you’re in a better fucking mood!
🙂
It’s entirely possible that you are now my BFF. My hatred of Christmas is renowned thoughout these parts, despite the fact I work in retail (and YOU have a VERY merry Christmas, too) and I have children ($20 each if we don’t put the tree up this year, kids). I cannot stand the dull eyed, slack jawed epsilon minus semi-morons who invade shopping centres for the month of December, and shall certainly start your game – in my shop so I can then have the benefit of charging them for the merchandise, too.
BFF?
BFF means Best Friend Forever!